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January 2011

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I think tattoos are freakin’ cool. So I got one. ‘Nuff said. I’ve been kicking around tattoo ideas for a couple of years. (I used to joke that there was nothing I loved enough to get tattooed to my body, except maybe a short stack of pancakes.) Things just never lined up for me to actually pull the trigger on it until this weekend when I found myself in a Seattle tattoo shop. I texted my husband, David, and told him I was getting a tattoo.  Knowing I had a couple of different things in mind, he asked what I had decided on, and I told him I was going to get Boba Fett. (I am the nerd of David Conlee’s dreams.) His reply was “haha! Sexy.”  So glad my husband has a sense of humor. However, my tattoo artist Nick did not appear to. When he asked why I was laughing, I…

I hate the gym so much. Zumba was crowded last night. Looked like lots of 1st timers. There was hardly any room for me to really shake it like a Polaroid picture. Leaving last night, the guy at the counter says “hey, take one of these flyers”. I said “no, I don’t need your crap.” He said “it’s got some tips for starting the new year off right & keeping your fitness resolutions as well as some guest passes for your friends.” I said, “Look, that class up there was way too full. What we need here are fewer people. I can’t wait for people to give up on their dreams.” Stunned, he looked at me and responded, “What is wrong with you?” “I am a horrible person.”, I replied.

I love birthdays. Not just my own, but everybody! I love buying presents. I love the parties. I love the cake. I love making people feel special. Regardless of your age, shouldn’t we treat birthdays like a big deal? My husband HATES making a fuss about his birthday. I tell him, “That’s too bad, we are celebrating your life whether you like it or not.” This weekend, my friend of nearly 17 years, Erin, and I are going to Seattle to celebrate her birthday. Erin resided in Seattle for a decade, so it has a special place in her heart. She has many dear friends there. It is my hope that she feels special this weekend. That being said, this weekend will be full of shenanigans, inside jokes, and my ribs being sore from laughter. While in the Seattle area, I will also get to see my family which includes…

Back in early September 2010, I was able to spend a few days with my cousin Barbi in Southern California. It was gloriously epic. I think I laughed until I wanted to puke. She is a funny chick, and I think we’re pretty funny (and horrible) together. We went out to the store one night for some snacks. During this outting, we had a startling revelation. A growing epidemic, if you will. It’s a problem we call “food that tastes like OTHER food”. Walking down the chip aisle, there were cheeseburger flavored Doritos. Barbi looked at me and said, “If I wanted a cheeseburger, wouldn’t I just go GET A CHEESEBURGER.” “Not if you can buy chips that taste like it instead?”, I proposed. Nonsense. It seemed like once we noticed the “food that tastes like other food” thing, we saw it everywhere! So, look around next time you’re cruising the grocery store. I…

Insecurity is something I do not have time for. Not to say I don’t have my moments, but all that agonizing over MYSELF is such a waste of perfectly good energy. I believe artistic people are more prone to insecurity. Especially singers. I think singers have to be some of the most sensitive people because our “instrument” is literally part of who we are. So, when someone approves or disapproves we take that as a reflection of how you feel about us as people.  When you take a step back and think about it rationally, someone liking my singing doesn’t necessarily mean they like me and visa versa. It just feels as though it is one in the same. Even though I have been singing in church (solo) since I was 15 years old, my quest for confidence began just 3 years ago (I’m a late bloomer). I approached several women that I respected that I felt were confident…

I realize that the phrase “unwanted attention” seems funny coming from someone like me who enjoys being the center of it all. I will say that though I am an affectionate person, I don’t want people touching me all the time. For example, you’ll never catch me getting a massage. A good friend is an LMT, and still I refuse. Nothing personal. Just don’t like people seeing me naked and don’t want them touching me. For the past few months, I have had what we called “weekly date nights” with a friend and her daughter. We’d go to the gym for Zumba on Thursday nights, go out to eat, then back to their pad to watch a couple of TV shows. On our last date night, we went to my friend’s fav Mexican food place because this woman loves guacamole more than normal people should and I knew it would…

If you have a big dream, you need to stock up on ketchup because that dream will bring out massive quantities of HATER TOTS. Something worse than the hater tots are the people you love and respect that do not believe in you. For years, I mistakenly put too much stock into what one person’s opinion of me was. This person does love me, just doesn’t believe in me. Ouch. I realize I am a drama queen, but I can assure you I am not exaggerating. As painful as this has been for me, it has taught me an amazing hard-learned lesson: not everyone is going to buy into your dreams! I had to teach myself to quit looking for validation from people who do not believe in me. (Wish I got that right all the time.) Some people would use that sting of rejection to fuel their passion to…

  If you are employed, be grateful. Not only am I employed, but I work for a really rad church and work with people whom I love and love me back. Being a receptionist, secretary, admin, what have you – is not my dream, but I can tell you with absolute certainty I am right where God wants me.  It brings me joy to greet people every day. I have a different song I sing for each staff person, and I do weird stuff to my hair sometimes or wear hats because it makes them smile. (I am thrilled I work at a place that allows my purple hair and nose piercing.)  It is my goal to make someone else’s day. Go ahead, think I am corny. I don’t care. I am blessed that I get to sing in our Sunday church services regularly, but I also lead worship in our youth & children’s…

 I hate the gym. Not because I’m a germophob. Not because I dislike exercise.  The gym  smells of sweat & desperation. Gross & grosser. I prefer to do classes over using the equipment there. I think it has something to do with my being slightly hyper-active and my A.D.D. I take 2 classes at the gym: Kwando & Zumba. Kwando is basically Tae Bo. I assume they don’t call it that because of copyright infringement, or perhaps the mental image it conjures of a greased up muscular dude in an inappropriate unitard. That just makes people uncomfortable. Again, gross, but that is neither here nor there. It is a pretty fun class. Zumba. I tried it a couple of times with a friend, then got hooked. Zumba is what Jazzercize was in the 80’s. It’s an aerobic dance fad heralded by middle-age women everywhere.  It’s basically a mix of Salsa & Hip Hop. It’s really fun, especially…

Hello!  Thanks for checking out my blog today! I’ve always liked the idea of blogging. I gave it a go once a while back. Deleted it because I thought I was lame. True story. Life is different now though. Things are happening. Things are changing – or maybe it’s just me who’s changing? Perhaps it’s a little of both. My inspiration for this comes from the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression & acceptance) as I am coming out of difficult times and navigating that emotionally. It also relates to my involvement in different ministries as well as pursuing some life-long dreams. (You see, I was going for a clever play on words.)   As the wife of a youth pastor, how can I look into the eyes of a young person and tell them that anything is possible, that they can dream BIG and chase their dreams, if I don’t…