Today’s post is by my best-good-friend, KirstinHarris. You can follow Kirs on twitter @KirstinHarris.

I have been with my husband for 11 years and our 10th anniversary is coming up in December. I don’t proclaim to have all the answers, but I know what has worked for me. I’m going to refer to husbands here, but this applies to boyfriends or finances as well. I have 2 tips for you ladies out there, things that drive me crazy, so listen up:

Tip #1 Ladies, your husband CANNOT READ YOUR MIND!!!! Shocking I know, but it’s true.

If your man says something that offends you and you spend the rest of the day in a foul mood, taking it out on him, that is YOUR fault, not his. He is dumb. (Sorry guys, but you kind of are.) Sometimes he says stuff he doesn’t mean or it comes across wrong. If you don’t tell him that what he said hurt your feelings then HE DOESN”T KNOW!!! Furthermore if you don’t tell him that you want him to take out the garbage, HE DOESN’T KNOW. Don’t whine and say, “well, he should just do it to contribute”. He won’t unless you tell him to. (My husband does cuz he’s wonderful, but not all guys are like that.) Which leads me into my next tip…

Tip #2 Your relationship is NOT going to be like a romantic comedy….EVER!!! Don’t expect your husband to do wildly romantic things all the time, don’t expect him to spout crap like “You Complete Me” or pull a John Cusack with the boom box over his head. Sure there are some guys out there who will do romantic things from time to time. My husband does get me roses or something he knows will equally show he cares, but it’s not a daily, weekly or monthly occurrence. There are other ways he shows he loves me; he sends me a sweet text and tells me I’m beautiful. One time he painted the kitchen while I was out-of-town. He does things that will make me happy.

Don’t compare your relationship to the movies, it only leads to heartbreak and frustration because it will never be like that. Understand that in real life, it’s when he does take the garbage out  that is the equivalent to your husband saying, “You make me want to be a better man.”

Bottom line: Ladies, lighten up. Have fun. Don’t expect that your relationship will ever be all rainbows and kittens. It’s will be messy, but it’s totally worth it.


  1. AMEN!!!! As men, we don’t spend our days thinking about how we could have possibly ticked someone off. When a man gets ticked off at another man he either (a) calls him on it at the time or (b) punches something. When a woman gets ticked off at another woman, she either (a) forms a focus group of friends to discuss how horrible of a person the other woman is and then agree to hate the person as a group or (b) mulls it over internally until they’re worked into a blind rage. Ladies, if something we did (or didn’t do) ticks you off, just say it when it happens. Bringing it up hours/days/weeks later doesn’t work for us. By that time, we’ve most likely forgotten any details about it anyhow!

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