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March 2015

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If you don’t like potty humor, read no further. If you have a sense of humor, please continue on. My kids started preschool last week. They’re brilliant & so I had minimal worries except for when it comes to the potty. One of my boys in particular seems to take his cues from Billy Madison’s “it’s cool to pee your pants!” He just doesn’t like to stop what he’s doing & go. But they’re completely housebroken, I swear!Nothing like a starting at a new place & getting that “urge”. And I didn’t know…but your kid can’t return to school for 24 hours once they’ve had the burrito butt boogie. They missed 3 days of school. We had to juggle schedules to make sure neither of us missed important obligations professionally. But they weren’t sick – AT ALL. No fevers or any other symptoms. Just mudbutt. So annoying! Upon returning to school the end of…

I’ve been stuck in a rut lately. I’m busy being wife, mom & working at a job that I love. But I’m not singing, acting, doing standup. At all. My role in ministry has always changed seasonally depending on life stage, needs in ministry & time. And that’s ok. I realized recently the root of my rut stems from my CHILDHOOD. My dad was an executive in corporate America, but he was also an associate pastor. I used to watch my parents & sister in church sing & wish I was up there with them. I wanted to belong. It took years for me to work up the courage to sing in front of my own family. I hate feeling like an outsider. And I find myself feeling like that same 8 year old cracking jokes on the back row in church eating Doritos & playing with Barbies. People mean well, but I don’t want…

ISIS has nothing on my kids when it comes to making me lose sleep. When the clock strikes 8pm, my little angels transform into terrorists. It is bedtime. Go to sleep. I do not negotiate with terrorists. Sometimes they’re merely ill-timed adorable requests for hugs & kisses, sugar coated with a compliment, “Pretty mama! Need hug! Need kiss!” I’ll admit that even if this happens at 3am, it warms my heart. The demands & tantrums, however, do not give me the warm fuzzy feels. “NEED WATER!”, which is by their bed. “Tuck me in!”, when I’ve already recovered them thrice & they intentionally kick blankets off. Don’t get me started on the 2am-3:30am tantrum that finally wore the little guy out. Try calming down after that to return to sleep. It was rough.What’s going on? Is this demonic manifestation? Growth spurts? Quit toying with my emotions & let me sleep. Do I call Homeland…

They race to the potty. They race to their beds. They race to the dinner table. I’ve noticed many things have become a competition lately – & that’s going to stop.Trouble is, both of my boys are brilliant but in completely different ways. They’re each going to excel, but in different areas. I cannot allow competition. I must keep them close. Your brother is not your competition; he is your ally. My hope is that they realize that they are best friends for life & that they’re stronger together. Together, they can accomplish anything. (Although, I hope they don’t figure that part out until they’re in college or else I’m in serious trouble!)It got me thinking: aren’t we ALL better together? When we work together, love without strings or judgement, we can do great things.I want to do great things.

Sometimes to embrace a stage of life you’re in, you have to let go of some things. Creatively, my focus is on things I can do when the boys are asleep. So, writing & recording. Ministry, well, my focus is on home. I’ve found that things overwhelm me & add to my fatigue. My health is a priority now as I need to be well & have lots of energy for my kids. My job is a huge blessing. I find this statement more true than ever: When you say yes to one thing, you’re saying no to something else. I hate how cliche that sounds, but it’s true. I feel overwhelmed & disconnected at the same time. My feelings are contradictory. I get overwhelmed when I do have things on my plate & then disconnected when I don’t. I do not believe balance in life exists. I just believe in phases – or…