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February 2016

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Sure, we’ve all been there. Your better half is gone and you want to watch your show. Trouble is, it’s a “couple show”. That special time when the children have gone to bed and you give a congratulatory smile and pat on rear to your spouse for surviving another day. It’s show time. You put on that show where a deserving family gets a house. It’s a good thing you’ve already removed your make up, because you’re about to ugly cry yourself into a stuper. As the glow of the tv bounces off of your tear glistened face, you ponder how great and blessed your life is. That magic ain’t happening tonight, sister. You’re flying the skies of Netflix alone. What do you do when your spouse is gone? You can’t watch that “couple show”. That is cheating. You see a preview for said show and you feel warm and…

Women, it’s time we admit it. Pinterest is our pornography. Pinterest gives you a distorted view of reality. Your husband’s old t-shirt suddenly looks like it could be repurposed into a crop top & 2 headbands. Because, you can never have too many headbands! Duh. You immediately begin having thoughts about cutting your own bangs & feeding your family salad in mason jars. Speaking of salad, why aren’t you growing your own vegetables? You know, with all that free time you have between work, family, blending your contour makeup then letting your powder “bake” until you look like you were photoshopped by the hands of God himself. With all the money you saved not buying shampoo any more (and washing with baking soda & vinegar) you can buy supplies to treat yourself to a blue Listerine pedicure. Go ahead, you’re worth it. Laugh as the dead skin just falls right…

If you are with someone who does nothing but speak negatively of others, you should wonder what they say about you in your absence. I learned that fact the same way most do: by hanging out with negative people. If you have opinions on people you don’t know based on someone else’s experiences with them, this is a red flag. First, judge the tree by the fruit it bears. Look at someone’s life. Is there constant drama or turmoil? Or are they responsible adults doing their best to be kind to others? Next, consider the source of the information. Does this person have a grudge? Do not take on someone else’s issues. You have your own to deal with! I don’t have these type of people in my inner circle. (In fact, my circle is pretty small these days due to stage of life with my little ones & that is…

Every year feels like more of an accomplishment. We nearly broke our engagement off over a game of Monopoly gone awry. So funny to me until I think of what we could’ve missed out on. So young & dumb. Had we realized how high the stakes were, I wouldn’t have been so dumb and you wouldn’t have been a jerk. Year 1 was hard. Sorry that I threatened to throw your laundry over the balcony of our apartment & into the parking lot. I’m so thankful for those rules for fighting we established in those early months of our marriage. Years 2-5 flew by. In ministry. Out of ministry. Depression. Purchase of first house. Talk of children. Years 5-9 went by even quicker. Back into ministry. Selling our first home to purchase the big dream home that we hoped to fill with children. Years 10-13 I often see in my…

When you burn yourself with a curling iron, the least you’d expect is to have a good hair day, right? This is not the case for me. Maybe I should put the hot tools down & give these strands a rest. It’s not worth maming myself. Or is it? I lie. This minor burn on my hand would totally be worth it for 1 glorious hair day. Maybe 2 with the help of dry shampoo. Stay stylin’, my friends.

I’ve had several conversations recently about this & have experienced this several times in my life. I’m about to say something controversial: we don’t have to agree on everything. God loves us – no matter what! He’s with us in our lowest of lows & with us on the mountain top. His love reaches through time, space & circumstance to meet you where you are. This love paid on unimaginable price – the ultimate price – to show you the lengths that love will go. This great, unfathomable love exists even though God does not always like the things we do. In fact, He hates sin. He hates some of the choices we make. He hates when we fight – like any good parent hates it when their children don’t get along. So, yes, I’m pulling out the big guns. I’m playing the God card & using Him as the…

Here are my squad goals & explanations. 1. If you’re addicted to Making a Murderer on Netflix & binge watched it, you’ll understand. 2. If you love these funny, smart & beautiful women, you’ll understand. 3. Because this. 4. Because Taylor Swift’s 1989 album is a guilty pleasure for everyone in their 30’s. 5. Because..WHAT?! 6. Because these people together is probably more epic than I can imagine. 7. Because Ghostbusters. 8. Because, duh, THE ROCK! 9. Because grabbing your girls & starting an acapella group sounds like every musical nerd’s dream. 10. Because I’m hilarious. And a Christian.

Dear Single Friends (who hurt on Valentine’s Day), Some of you have chosen single life. Some of you have scars from broken relationships. Some of you have just not found the right person. Here’s what I want you to know: There has never been a moment of your life that you have been unloved. You are valuable. You are a treasure. You are more loved than you could ever imagine! If Valentine’s Day hurts for you the way Mother’s Day used to hurt for me, I’m so sorry. If you are among the many people I know (most of them are actually married) who don’t care about this “made up” holiday, then no harm. Just know wherever you are, you are loved!

The other day, I walked into the bathroom to find a penny in the toilet bowl. (I mean an actual penny, as in currency. I promise that’s not some cute term I made up for poop.) Upon seeing my child’s college fund being tossed into sea,my train of thought went a bit like this: No more coins for the boys to put in their piggy banks. This looks like the crappiest wishing well ever. This is no way to treat a portrait of The Great Emancipator. Guess I’m goin’ fishin’. We spend so much of our lives in the potty, but I think it’s even more for moms!