My husband has to work late sometimes. NBD. Everyone has been there. (This is the part where I bow in unworthiness to single mamas. I literally don’t know how you do it – you’re incredible.)

I’m going to be honest: I’m afraid to take my kids places when I’m alone. Maybe because they’ve run opposite directions on me too many times over the years. I simply don’t trust them. Then you’re forced to choose which child you love more. I’m kidding. That was a joke. But it’s horrible and you look like a bad parent. 

So, when on those occasions I’m flying solo, I go into lockdown mode. Dinner is something super easy like pizza, and we play outside and watch a movie. The children get bored, fight, whine and act defiant, thus reinforcing my reasoning for said lockdown mode. I feel like the Oprah of discipline.

You get a spanking!
It’s exhausting. It’s also humbling when the children you prayed God to give you for a decade tell you that your booty stinks or that they don’t like you because you turned the hose off before they sprayed their brother. 

Tonight was a big night for me. We hit McDonald’s for a bite, to play and ice cream. The potty break was kind of a nightmare but everything else was great. Boys listened. They ate when I said it was time. When I said it was time to go, they were perfect. 

That being said, some kid kept trying to talk to me and was like, “your food sure looks yummy” and was licking his chops. I seriously thought he was going to take a nugget from me. Then, this kid’s mom was all confused on how I can tell which shoes belong to which kid. (They don’t usually wear the same size – but they have the same flip flops.) I showed her that one pair had a small label in them & the other pair I’d cut it out. Then I wondered why she was concerned about it given that it doesn’t affect her life at all. Then, the same kid almost opened up my boys’ Happy Meals to see what toy they got. Let me tell you – that Happy Meal almost become an Angry Meal. Whilst having conversation with the weird kid in question, my Wyatt yells from the play structure to stop talking to kids that aren’t my sons. Later tonight he asked me to marry him (again). Boy loves his mama!

Why was there a lady reading a book while sitting on her motorized scooter? And, why aren’t there any acoustic tiles in these places? Inevitably there’s kids whose scream leaves a ringing in your ears and literally made you jump out of your seat. Not once, not twice, but THRICE this happened. Two screamers. God, be with those parents tonight!

Ok, so, aside from the stranger danger, awkward mom chat, potential nugget thief, and the the kids who screamed at an excruciating, ear-splitting decibel, I’d say tonight was a successful solo outing for us. Maybe my best yet.

Maybe they’re growing up? Maybe we’ve turned a corner? Maybe someday I can take them…GROCERY SHOPPING BY MYSELF?! Nah. But I’m less afraid to try new things. I want so desperately to be the mom they deserve and make their childhood memorable and fun. 

I wouldn’t trade a moment of it. These are the good ole days.

Author

Textbook extrovert. If there’s a stage, Jenny wants to be on it; whether it’s singing in church, doing stand-up comedy or acting. She has recently joined a cult called LuLaRoe. Her husband, David, is deeply concerned. Jenny and David, a pastor, are recently celebrating eighteen years of marriage. After years of infertility, they became adoptive parents of two year old twin boys in 2014. They’ve never been happier or more exhausted. Every day is an adventure. Jenny blogs at thefivestages.wordpress.com and has a regular feature in Tualatin Life newspaper called Everyday Heroes to celebrate those serving our community. She and her husband started a clothing line based on their story and you can check it out at bottlecapbadge.com. There’s nothing we can’t do with a little bit of love and a whole lot of caffeine.

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